Wednesday, March 4, 2009

On Puzzling

As I sat cross-legged on my PA's floor for about an hour this afternoon, working on a puzzle, I realized I have the mindset of a four-year-old. Surprisingly, this does not bother me in the least. We are called to have faith like children, are we not? :)

I don't know. I think sometimes we have the tendency to complicate things beyond all hope of every getting anything accomplished. I am not a perfectionist (a fact for which I am very grateful); I'm also fairly low maintenance. Therefore, when people are flipping out about little things, I can find it hard to relate. My answers of "Hey, it's ok" or "It'll be fine. You'll get through this" or anything similar don't quite cut it. I never claimed to be good at this whole advice-giving deal.

Maybe I am too relaxed about things. Maybe I should be stressing about finals, and next year, and post-graduation events, but often I find it hard to concretely focus on anything that's happening beyond next Sunday. I just cannot plan that far ahead, and because of that, I can't flip out about what is or isn't going to happen.

This one time, I was having coffee with my friend Nate. We were just chilling on his bed, talking about something: I believe it was my complete inability to deal with confrontation and conflict. He described me as a hippy. All drug references aside, I kind of smile at this description. I really do just want everyone to love each other, to get along, to be able to put aside their stubborn views and tolerate and accept everyone. Is that too much to ask? I'm finding that it is. We just have to wait and see how our world progresses.

I think I am accidentally more of a peace lover than a peace maker, as Dr. Dearborn discussed in chapel this morning. I'm not sure I have the strength, or the spiritual ability to lead such things as would make peace. A simple "Guys, stop fighting," accomplishes little. I think I just try to keep people accountable: why do we need to be bickering about all these little things? Just calm down, and let's move on, ok? Ok.

This has progressed farther than I had originally planned. I mostly just wanted to talk about how much I love puzzles. Oh well...

"Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart."
-Deuteronomy 6:4-6

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