Tuesday, October 25, 2011


because there are a few moments while I’m breathing that I think just for a second it would be nice to not have to be an introvert all the time, it would be nice not to be exhausted by all the noise and bustle and life that’s always happening.  but I’m so stuck inside my head, I don’t think you understand how that is.  because we all have our own ideas of what’s good and what’s best and what we need right now and it makes perfect sense (not always) to us and why can’t other people just understand that but I’m so tired and so tired and so tired and sometimes I just want to crawl into my bed and not get out for a really long time and no I don’t want company and no I don’t really want to talk about it.  and I have no idea why I have so much to give when it comes to some people but others are just the most draining.  and sometimes I don’t want to be a person any more.  I don’t want to think.  let me be Scarecrow before the trip to Oz.  Or Tinman.  Or Dorothy when she still thought there was no place like home but before she actually got there.  Because maybe the longing is better than the disappointment.

there are so many things I can’t think about because I feel the wrong things.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

[ ]

Because this is a perpetual day of silence, with the tape strapped over your mouth to keep from lying, lying, lying.  Because to open, to speak, to sing, would be lies.  And you are not a deceiver, you will try to reassure yourself every minute of every day.  To breathe would be lies.  Because no one knows the difference but you.  Quell your harmonies.  Still your dancing feet.

Because if you cannot speak your honesty, at least do not scream the lies.  Be still, appear reverent, while your heart burns with the knowledge that you lie to everyone, every day, by not coming to terms with the very person you are.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

mundane stories from everyday life

  I used the drain cover in my shower
  as a tiny cage
  to capture and then kill
  a crane fly
  that was trying to touch me.
  it was very successful.