Friday, April 23, 2010

On Breathing

Last night, I legitimately thought I was having
A panic attack in the hall.
As each minute passed, and my brain wouln't quit,
It got harder and harder to breathe.
I had to sit back, put my computer aside,
And hold my head in my hands.
Willing myself to not pass out or cry
Just because life's getting full.

I sat there and breathed, and then tried to go back
To the slides about creation and faith;
But the moment I returned my eyes to the screen,
My throat squeezed tight once again.
I got up and walked down the hall with the thought,
To get a drink and come back.
I couldn't stop studying [things have to get done],
So calm the hell down and retain.

But my body was stuck on this new freak out mode
So I had to turn in for the night.
A few extra minutes of sleep, I argued,
Would be all the cure that I need.
Now my class's in an hour, I need a topic
For a paper which I get to write.
My test is still later this afternoon and I
Don't have the time to remember.

It's too much, you're saying, along with everyone else,
But there's nothing that I can cut out.
Just get through these next six weeks without dying,
And everything's cake from then on.
And even for now, I'll grasp a palpable goal:
Six hours from now I can flee.
With five beautiful women to an island escape,
To talk, and be still, and to read.

Grades aren't that important, and neither is sleep:
We'll find a roommate, I trust.
Remember the families who need prayer more than most,
And keep Him the front of your mind.
Keep life in perspective; keep trying to love,
Because without that you will fail.
And above all else, keep trying to breathe:
So simple, just air, in and out.

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