On Summer

Four days ago:

I don't like being away from the dorms. It's not as though being back home is bad in any way, I just love the utter comfort in having so many people I absolutely love surrounding me at all times.

After our epic last night in the dorms, packing with irritation, all these things - it will just be a very interesting summer. I sit here on my naked bed, surrounded by five versions of the Bible, listening to the Glorious Unseen and the Decemberists, and I cannot process yet that this is something normal, that this is going to be my life for the next three months. With miles instead of feet separating me from Holly and from Ben. Miles... I can't imagine not seeing them each day.

I feel like I should be sadder than I am. It will probably hit me in the next few days. But God will provide and I will survive. I just want to continue growing this summer, to remain passionately in love with Jesus. Because that's most important.

Yesterday:

What a day. What a life...

Writing, laughing, sun, Holly and Ben, swings, merry-go-round, narrating small children's lives, walking, comparing dogs to their owners, holding hands, relaxing on a couch, Ben's hand deep in my hair, playing board games designed with kids younger than college students in mind, relaxing in the papasan while watching Holly organize, parking lot nightmare, paddle boat adventure, ducks, buoys, swimmers, the boys in the water, Holly and I holding their valuables, complaints of lake itch, soggy hugs, parents' awkward encounters, emails, writing.

Can every day be like this? Simple, spent in love and in friendship, enjoying each other and enjoying the world.

Thanks be to God.

And hoy:

Just a small note.

I'm not sure I'm ok with this whole concept of summer.
I'm not sure I'm ok with going days without seeing Holly and Ben.
I'm not sure I'm ok with just bumming around my house for over three months.
I just want to be back in your arms.
Sitting on my bed with Holly's head in my lap.
Relaxing in the papsana with Jill.
Hugging Ben in the middle of Gwinn.
I want a quick escape to go see the ducks, or a walk by myself in the rain.
I want to be back at school all the time, even if it means papers and stress and not enough sleep.
I love that little independence that appeared when I left my home.
I want it to be September twenty-second.