because you are.

Cleaning my room.  Found a journal from last spring.  There are a grand total of eight entries in it, spanning from March 20th to May 15th.  It's a chronicle of the dissolving of my faith.  So interesting to look back on.

From April 16th, 2011.  SPU Women's Retreat at Camp Casey, day after the Day of Silence.

If you could hear this wind
You would weep.
Not because of sadness
Though you're almost sure
Your heart is more cracked than not;
Not because of happiness
Though you'll say that "yes,
It's happiness;"
Not because of God
Though the air rips tears
From their places.
No.  You'll weep because
You are.
With cheeks wind-bitten and
Lips chewed up;
With skin peeling off your palms:
You'll shake
Because you feel.
You'll breathe
Because you live.
You'll leave
Because you're cold.
But you'll weep
Because there's nothing more
(And nothing less)
That you can do
To be.