tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2867529332544635896.post3132995490536463532..comments2013-02-05T08:10:32.222-08:00Comments on Called to Love: f r i e n d sAnnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01142499982259316839noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2867529332544635896.post-11612211710054462832011-03-22T21:16:48.983-07:002011-03-22T21:16:48.983-07:00This was a beautiful post. Gave me shivers. I use ...This was a beautiful post. Gave me shivers. I use that friend-word way too liberally, too, but it has so much more meaning than the relationship I have with the random guy in my creative writing class, or whoever. I think Facebook (maybe social media in general?) definitely makes us too focused on quantity of friendships vs. quality. Sometimes I feel like I should know more people at school just so I can say hi to more people, or feel more popular -- but the quality of my soul-friendships here are so much more important to me in the long run. Thanks for a thought-provoking post :)Kirstenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09932020386716085009noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2867529332544635896.post-58909437489576058592011-03-16T03:08:23.946-07:002011-03-16T03:08:23.946-07:00Anna, this is beautiful. I love this post, you ar...Anna, this is beautiful. I love this post, you are not allowed to apologize for it. It is now five hours since I woke up from my nap to study for finals, but they have been filled with important and significant things, so I'm okay with that.<br /><br />Friendship really is a spectrum, I think. Adding more boxes makes things better, and helps flesh out the spectrum, and better understand it. Seven boxes is certainly better than two or three (or even one, which I've been only-semi-jokingly accused of doing at times). But no matter how many stars a rating gives me, I always need a half-star sometimes. And if they give me half-stars, sometimes I just really need that quarter-star. And so on.<br /><br />I lament that you are probably a little above acquaintance friends, if that. Which brings up your point - what do we do with that? Especially given your other posts, do we strive for better relationships with everyone on our friend spectrum? Every stranger a potential acquaintance, working acquaintances to friends, and friends on up the scale? Obviously that's not entirely practical, but should it be our goal? Chance and happenstance (and God, if that's your bent) bestow us a very limited number of potential friends, compared to the nearly limitless pairings that could possibly work out. Most people you'll never even get to Stranger Stranger level, because they live in a different country, or go to a different school, or even are a different year and/or major at the same school.<br /><br />But even then, no one could sustain friendships with all of their Stranger Strangers, and it's unlikely that you could maintain long-term higher friendships with all of your acquaintance friends.<br /><br />I think it ends up looking like a pyramid, because while friendships are energizing and wonderful, they also take energy and time and commitment, and there's a limited supply of that. Some people seem to have more than others, but there's a limit, especially of time.<br /><br />And some people's pyramids are lopsided or misshapen - I know mine is very, very wide at the base and first few levels, but maybe even truncated at the top, without a defined point. What does a "healthy" pyramid look like? Can you be too topheavy? Or should we just work to make all of our relationships better? Do friendships sometimes need to slip down the scale, as people move, times change, and new friends come along? Is that healthy, okay, natural?<br /><br />And then I've experienced friends that you talk with sporadically, maybe a few times a year even, but when you do, they are way up on the friend scale. Time may not necessarily a limiting factor. And what about directionality? Are two people necessarily at the same friend level with respect to each other? Can I be a Familiar Stranger with James at the Teacup, but I only a Stranger Stranger to him? Does that work higher up the scale?<br /><br />Speaking of which, I might have to hit you up for tea sometime, where James works - I think, for me at least, he's bordering on Acquaintance, maybe still in Familiar Strangers though. Thoughts thoughts thoughts.Joel Bradshawhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10743195074265499430noreply@blogger.com